


The observations of Merlin

by QueenNutHouse



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Fluff and Humor, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Humor, Laughter, Merlin is a Little Shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-04
Updated: 2020-06-04
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:22:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,154
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24545350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenNutHouse/pseuds/QueenNutHouse
Summary: A bet, chaos, insanity, dares, rivers and disasters.Set during the year gap between season 3 and 4..Just some fun,
Relationships: Lancelot (Merlin) & Original Character(s), Lancelot (Merlin)/Original Character(s), Merlin & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 15





	The observations of Merlin

**Author's Note:**

  * For [highfunctioningclotpole](https://archiveofourown.org/users/highfunctioningclotpole/gifts), [Merlin_would_love_vines](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Merlin_would_love_vines/gifts).



> A gift for two brilliant stars, that make me smile, encourage me to write, elevate my imagination and brighten my day, an give me many ideas.

"Do you think he does it on purpose?"   
Their legs dangled freely over the ramparts as they watched the knights below practice. "What?" Talia questioned, looking over.   
"That" Matthew pointed towards Merlin as he tripped over his own feet, only to fall into the pile of armour.   
"Humm, you know I'm not sure. But I have an idea" Talia grinned ear to ear like a cat who's got the cream.  
"Ah crap, not again," Matthew bemoaned, wondering why him.  
"Come on, it'll be fun...we're calling it...the observation of Merlin," Talia decided after a moment of thinking.  
"Seriously, that's a bit bland," he huffed, still watching Merlin being a disaster and Arthur (as always) being a prat to him in his own, caring way.  
"You going to do better? Now you wanna know how clumsy Merlin is. Let's find out," she speculated before jumping down from the wall, watching Matthew follow.  
"Well let's make it more interesting," he reasoned as they both walked together towards the castle.   
"Oh? And what do you have in mind?" She glanced slyly at him   
"A bet?" He grinned.   
"Fine. If he's as accident-prone as I think..you make me fifty new arrows," Talia shrugged with a shit-eating grin that made her eyes blaze.  
"Okay...and if it's for a show you make me dinner for a week" Matthew began to worry just what he had gotten himself into.  
"Fine, If it's just for show...I'll make you dinner," Talia agreed looking at her counterpart as they stopped, facing one another.   
"Deal." They spoke in unison.  
Hands shook and the game was afoot!

"And then, Talia, it kinda turned into bubbles…" Merlin babbled on, walking backwards, talking excitedly about his recent escapade.   
"Merlin, walking backwards..." Talia began, advising the warlock.   
"But I wasn't trying! Just one word-" Merlin spoke fast, not paying attention as he continued.  
”Merlin! Eyes where you're going," Talia rubbed her forehead, feeling a headache coming on.   
"Different, that's all it took," Merlin continued rabbiting as Matthew began laughing, looking at Talia and shaking his head.  
"Not where you've been Merlin!" Talia groaned as she looked to the ceiling.   
"Next, you know instead of..." Merlin grinned before losing his footing.   
It was a simple slip before tumbling into the armoured suit.  
"Ah crap," Talia winced at the loud clunk as it tilted on the edge, tipping slightly. "Merlin don't!"   
"I can..."   
She watched as he attempted to stop the suit of armour from tumbling down.   
"Oh for crying out loud! Merlin!" Matthew yelled as Talia covered her ears.   
Clunking first sounded, quickly followed by a crash as one by one, they toppled to the last suit like dominoes until the last suit clanged upon the slate castle floor with a thunderous crash, echoing down the passage.   
"Good luck," Talia grinned, uncovering her ears, walking away grabbing Matthew by the collar, dragging the laughing loon with her.  
"Talia? Matt!"

It was the slip of a foot on the step that made her quickly grab his collar and pull the trip hazard back.   
"You could have strangled me!" Merlin yelped, rubbing his neck.  
Raising an eyebrow, her arms crossed like a mother hen would Talia grinned deviously making Merlin stop.   
"Yes, and I'm sure strangling is more painful than diving headfirst down the stairs!?" She raised her voice as he watched him glance at the stairs, wincing as he did.   
"Oh, when you put it that way..."   
"Out of interest, are you aiming to break every bone in your body?" She questioned out of pure curiosity, studying the warlock.  
"Sorry."   
"Next time, Merlin, watch your step!" Talia muttered, walking away, tallying up her bet with a smirk.

"Think he can dance?" Matthew asked as they sat watching the fire dance.   
They had been discussing the disaster that was Merlin and his uncoordinated feet.  
"Why, you teaching him?" Talia asked, knowing full well where he was heading.   
"Aw, Talia I thought..." His cheeky smirk made her roll her eyes.   
"No, not happening! You're better than me. Plus, I'm two points ahead," she argued back, chuckling.   
"Fine! I'll teach him."   
Talia watched Matthew storm out of her chambers in bemusement and mentally counted down the minutes.  
Ten minutes later….  
The door slammed open, bouncing on the wall thudding as it did.   
Matthew limped in, growling and muttering something she couldn't quite make out from her seating by the fire, fletching arrows.   
"Why are you limping?" She innocently questioned with a glint of mischief in her eyes from her same position by the fire. "Never again!" Matthew snarled, hobbling towards her bathing chambers.  
"That good, huh? Matt! where are you going?" She laughed out loud watching the door slam close.   
"To ice my feet!" Matthew’s voice yelled through the closed door.   
"Huh, guess Merlin can't dance then," she shrugged mentally, marking down another tally for her.

"Lancelot," Talia frowned, looking to the knight before her as he sharpened his sword.   
"Yes, Talia?" He smiled that heart-melting smile that made Talia's heart flutter.   
"Why is Merlin ogling my bow?" She questioned, holding said bow close to her as though it was a teddy bear.   
"Because I said I won't teach him how to fight with a sword," Lancelot reasoned, shrugging.  
"And..." She glanced at the knight, looking baffled.   
"Do you think he'll hit anything with your bow?" He reasoned, looking to Merlin as he tripped over his own feet.  
"Knowing his luck? He'll probably hit Matt in the arse. On second thought...hey, Merlin you wanna learn to shoot? Go get an apple from the cook!" She shouted to Merlin, watching him grin and run towards the castle.  
"Really Talia?" Lancelot laughed softly, shaking his head, knowing once again Talia was causing chaos.   
"Lancelot, I've got to have fun somehow," she reasoned with a smirk, standing, kissing the knight’s forehead before taking her to leave.   
"I feel sorry for Matthew," Lancelot yelled after her. 

Holding out an apple in her hand, Talia grinned at Matthew.   
"Balance this on your head?"   
"An apple?" He frowned, eyeing the apple with speculation.   
"Yep," she grinned, arms crossed as he took the apple from her hand.   
"Erm, why?" He mentally slapped his head for asking as she grinned.   
"Because..." she sniggered easily, making eye contact.   
"Because what?" He frowned in worry.   
"My targets are full and Merlin wants to learn…. Matt, Matt! Where are you going? Come on, I said I'd teach him! Jeez, what a chicken! Now, where's Percival?" She grinned, doubling over until she was crying with laughter as Matthew ran as though hells hounds were on his heels.

"Why's Arthur dressed in Merlin's clothing?" Talia questioned, watching the future king stomp past as Matthew stood next to her.   
"Oh, that?" Matthew asked innocently.   
"Yes that," she replied, rolling her eyes at his toying.   
"An assassin happened," he shrugged, watching her reaction.   
"What?!" She growled, looking worried.  
"Need me to spell it?" Matthew questioned, winding her up.   
"What...no! Explain!" Talia demanded as they slowly headed towards the castle, following the prince and warlock at a more sedate pace.   
"Did you know having numerous amounts of clothing in a cupboard is deadly to an assassin?"   
"No..."   
"Apparently it is. Something to do with falling out of the cupboard looking like a glorified mummy at a Thanksgiving parade," Matthew laughed, struggling to keep quiet.   
"Huh, Merlin’s doing?" She questioned, even though she already knew the answer.  
"His tidying skills are to be desired apparently, Merlin throwing in the clothing happened to suffocate the assassin and he then fell out the cupboard as a glorifying wrapped like a prized turkey," Matthew shrugged.   
"Note to self- never get Merlin to sort out cupboards," She laughed, not feeling even slightly sorry for the assassin.  
"Indeed."   
The two joined in laughter together, ignoring the questioning glances from others.

The clank of the sword meeting the stone floor met her ears.   
"Sword at your feet, not at your throat," Talia spoke up as she kept her gaze at the book in her hand.   
"How did you….!?" Merlin looked over in shock at her from the window seat she was perched on.   
"Observation," Talia muttered without even looking up from her book as she leaned back into the window alcove.   
She was getting good at this.

"Bucket," Matthew warned, glancing at the bucket as the enforcer and servant walked together down the hall.  
"Huh?"   
"Buck-et. He slowly sounded it, as though to a child.  
"What…"   
Matthew stood, face-palming himself as the clanging of a bucket rolled down the passage, the wet flapping of boots on the stone floor followed as Merlin stood, feet drenched from the now-empty bucket.   
"You’re unique, Merlin, that's for sure."

"Do you ever get the feeling that rivers ain't Merlin's strong point?" Talia questioned, sitting on the large boulder, watching the scene before them.  
"What gave that away?" Matthew was beside her, his questioned head tilted to the side like an overgrown puppy.  
"Oh, I don't know. Maybe the fact Merlin is currently looking like a drowned squirrel and Arthur looks like a pissed-off bear cub," she shrugged easily, attempting not to laugh."Or the fact we did tell him not to jump in after him after Arthur."  
"Or the fact you did tell Merlin that the rocks were slippery?" Matthew questioned as she watched Arthur dragging off his drenched chain mail.   
Merlin shivered and Lancelot covered him with a blanket whilst the other knights searched their saddlebags for spare clothing for the prince and warlock.   
"Yep..." she glanced over, digging out another blanket from her saddlebag, feeling sorry for the warlock before continuing.   
"Next time I'm leashing the warlock near a river." She jumped down from the boulders, Matthew quick to join her.   
"I'll get the rope.”

"Achoo!"   
"I told you to wrap up warm Merlin"  
Talia mother henned next to Matthew, both leaning on the wall as Giaus tended to the flu-ridden young warlock.  
"This is what happens when you get wet, Merlin," Matthew jumped in on his telling off.  
"I know...achoo!" Merlin sounded terrible, his nose blocked and wheezy.   
"em, Tal?" Matthew asked in shock as Gaius looked at the thing before them.  
"Yep I see it," she sighed, shaking her head wondering why them!  
"How the hell are we gonna explain that?!" Matthew panicked, pointing at the monstrous floating object floating around the chambers before their very eyes.   
"What, a pink, bubble-shaped floating elephant isn't an everyday occurrence?"   
"Seriously?! No one sneezes pink bloody elephants!" Matthew alarmed, waving his arms around as Talia scratched her head, thinking.   
"Obviously Merlin does."

"Why's the cook walking around with a sword?" Matthew questioned as he entered Talia’s chambers, arms full of clean clothing.   
"Merlin," she replied as she glanced up from the arrows she was fletching.  
"Oh?" Matthew asked, placing down the clothing, looking over to her with questioning eyes.  
"Let's just say it involved a Gwaine, a bet, and three bags of flour," Talia shrugged again, not even looking at her friend, missing the shake of his head as he tried to contain his laughter.   
"I don't want to know, do I?"   
"Nope," she finally looked up, grinning easily.   
"Right then." 

"Why are the bells ringing?" Matthew questioned, coming out of the adjoining room, joining Talia's side.   
"Oh, that? The crown is missing," she shrugged, watching the chaos from the window.   
"And what are the knights doing?!" He sat beside her at the window, their feet touching.   
"Looking for the said crown," she shrugged again, enjoying the pure turmoil below them.   
"And you're not?" Matthew frowned, watching her grin almost deviously.   
"Nope."   
"Why? You're an honorary knight," he said, baffled as to why she continued to sit and watch the castle in mayhem below them.   
"Yes, I might be.."   
"I hear a ‘but’ coming."  
"But..."   
"Yes?"  
"Leon gave it to Elyan for polishing," she reasoned, shrugging from opposite him.   
"And you're not telling them because...?"  
"Merlin gave it to Leon to give to Elyan, so I'm enjoying the chaos of Merlin's short term memory. Popcorn?" She grinned as it clicked with Matthew as to just who started the chaos in the first place before grabbing a handful of popcorn.   
"Oh! Don't mind if I do!"

"Two weeks Talia. Two bloody weeks. In that time he has been a disaster!" Matthew bemoaned, throwing his arms up before throwing himself against the tree.   
"Yep," she grinned, leaning back on the tree. Camelot could be seen just down the path; the day was quiet as the sun warmed their skin.   
"He is a menace!" He continued to groan, glaring at her.   
"Yep!" She shrugged, eyes closed, enjoying the peace.  
"How do they cope?!"   
"Don't know."   
"Why are you grinning?" He glared at her, not that she noticed as the sun warmed her skin.  
"Two words: fifty arrows."  
"Oh for…"   
The flapping of birds rushing out the trees covered the colourful swear that would make Uther cringe!


End file.
